Communication is like a seesaw

I remember when I was a little girl I used to love going on the see-saw with my Dad. Being much lighter I invariably ended up going up high and bouncing off the seat squealing with delight! 

 

If you imagine a see-saw of communication where one end represents talking and the other listening, are you moving easily between being in the high position and the low one, like two people of equal weight? 

 

Or do you find yourself mostly at one end? 

 

I believe our aim should be to have the see saw of communication in balance, or more or less in balance. When it’s in balance, we are moving easily between talking and listening and we can build great rapport, trust and respect which are essential skills all fantastic leaders need. 

 

As leaders we need to know when to speak and when to listen. When we speak, I believe we need to make our words count, whether words of encouragement, support, praise, guidance or challenge. When we listen we need to really listen, not just pretend to listen or wait for a gap in the conversation so we can speak. 

 

Check your balance – are you moving easily between speaking and listening? Or do you tend to be more in one mode? 

If you feel you could do with listening more you could work on developing an attitude of genuine curiosity in other people. Here are some practical things you can do ~ 

⭐Place ALL your attention onto the other person (yes that means no phone distractions) 

⭐Turn your body towards them 

⭐Listen to the actual words they say (and the words they don't) 

⭐Listen to what their body is communicating ~ a slight shift in weight, a rise in tension in their shoulders, ~ when you get to know someone you'll recognise certain cues from the body can mean certain things for that person 

⭐And if you want to later comment on something they have said (once you've finished listening) use some of the actual words they said. 

If you feel you could do with speaking more you could work on developing an attitude of how are my team going to know me if I’m not sharing that much with them. And here are some practical things you can do ~ 

 

⭐If you’re with someone who’s taking up most or all of the air time you may need to interrupt them. This may not feel easy if you have the belief ‘it’s rude to interrupt’. And If you’re struggling with the idea of interrupting, here’s a mantra you can use “it’s ok for me to interrupt when I need to”. Practice saying this to yourself for a few weeks and notice what changes. Alternatively, you could say to someone, there’s something I need to say and it’s important you listen. 

 

⭐If you find yourself giving very short answers to questions people ask you, experiment with speaking for longer. To help you with this, you can work with the mantra, ‘it’s ok for me to take up my rightful space in the world’ or ‘my voice is important’. 

 

⭐Write down all the ways as a leader you can communicate your vision to your team, whether that’s staff meetings or more casual chats. Know that they are looking to you to inspire them. Words are powerful and they can change hearts and minds so know they want to hear you. Work with this mantra, ‘my team are inspired by me’ or ‘I’m here to inspire’. 

 

 

When our communication is more in balance, our relationships with our team can improve, which makes for a happier place to work, which improves our bottom line too! 

 

Enjoy your ride on the see-saw!